Reflecting on his "rules," he tells "I understand the urge to protect your daughters. But the kind of posturing by fathers of daughters I was specifically responding to had nothing to do with that 'protective instinct' and everything to do with asserting their dominance over women and reinforcing a belief that women need men to take care of them." he held those beliefs.He says, "These girls are amazing humans, and I can take no credit for that other than the fact that I at least knew that the best thing I could do for them is not try to 'mold' them." It's clear this is one dad who really gets it.Actually, you can watch virtually happen—that evening. Usually quietly seething, frustrated by her father’s interference, but accepting it as an inevitability.The implication here is that a teenage girl isn’t capable of making her own choices about her romantic and sexual life, and—even worse—that her chastity “belongs” to her father, who has the right to protect it from any young man who dares to approach her. You know who a teenage girl’s sexuality and chastity belong to? She gets to decide what she wants to do, whom she wants to do it with, and when she wants to do it.When it comes to raising daughters, there are tons of jokes, even a whole TV show (see above), about the intimidating, overprotective father (usually with a shotgun), who threatens all potential male suitors to treat his daughters with respect—or else!But why leave it to the dad to demand respect for his daughters?And also why he’s clearly not the slightest bit scared of “There’s something revoltingly archaic to me about the idea that a father’s job is to fend off male admirers in an attempt to keep his daughter “pure” as long as possible, like we’re still living in medieval times.” There’s a pervasive and intractable assumption in our society that fathers and their daughters’ boyfriends are natural adversaries.Just check out Kevin Hart’s Super Bowl ad for Hyundai: A young man picks Hart’s daughter up for a date, which is then ruined by Hart, who stalks them, glaring threateningly at the poor guy every time he starts to put his arm around the girl.
Though most of the comments seem to be people tagging other people, based on the sheer amount of shares and comments in such a short period of time, it looks like his post is being very well-received.
Even so, when told that the kid was afraid of him, he laughed and said, “Good!
” And in spite of everything I’ve written here, I get it.
Let’s dream of a better world, where the father and the boyfriend smile, shake hands, and agree that they both want what’s best for the girl they love. Claire is the author of five novels for adults and four YA novels, including Epic Fail.
With Lynn Kern Koegel, Ph D, she co-wrote the non-fiction books Overcoming Autism and Growing up on the Spectrum.