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Racism in gay dating

"Because of my ethnicity he, and many other white gay men, deem me to be ugly," Eliel told Even worse than outright racial bias is the reactions people of color receive when attempting to push back against it."When people of color call white people out on racist bias," said Nadal, who co-authored a detailing the impact of white people's reactions to microaggressions, "or racist dynamics in dating, that can often lead to overt bias or prejudice in that people of color are told directly that their perspectives are wrong or they are being overly sensitive and that their reality is not the truth."Getting people to admit to their own biases can be difficult.

"Most people want to view themselves as good people and are hesitant or are in denial that they have racial biases," Nadal said.

That is, more compatibility generally means more replies. As you can see, in general, the better you match someone, the more likely you are to reply to a first message from them.

On Ok Cupid you create your own unique matching system, and that means your better matches are people you actually want talk to. We can see this principle in action when we look at our trusty control, the Zodiac.

Here are the match and reply rates side-by-side, with similar rates colored yellow.

There’s no real need to inspect the numbers; just observe the similar colors. In general, the correlation between match percentage and reply rate means that whenever we compare the match/reply charts for a given breakdown of the population, they should look about the same.

Lately, since we’ve been dealing with complex and data-intensive subjects like race and reply rates, we’ve had to restrict ourselves to straight data in the primary post.

Together they shed more light on the theory/practice schizophrenia of people’s racial attitudes.

See for yourself: As we did last week, we can see that all groups think, theoretically, that interracial relationships are acceptable, yet again whites are the least willing to have such a relationship themselves.

This time it’s the men, not the women, who prefer most to keep to their own: it’s interesting that both in reply patterns and in their answers to these two match questions, the behavior of white straight women and white gay men are so closely parallel.

According to our internal metrics, at least, Ok Cupid’s users are better-educated, younger, and far more progressive than the norm, so I can imagine that many sites would actually have (Addendum to original post)As promised, here are the same-sex versions of last week’s charts and tables.

In general, they show that straights and gays share many of the same inclinations, but the prejudices of the latter are perhaps a bit less pronounced.


  1. Like other black and brown gay men, I feel the effects of racism in everyday interactions with white gay men. But perhaps the most casual and most common place minority gays experience racism is in interactions on apps like Grindr, which to some degree have replaced gay bars as a nexus for dating and hookups.

  2. No Blacks. No Asians. No Queens. I bet you already know where these quotes come from. I am also pretty sure you've seen them. Yes, these are common quotes from Grindr.

  3. This Is What It's Like to Log Into Grindr as a Person of. Many of the gay men of color who spoke to Mic described how they. "or racist dynamics in dating.

  4. How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get Racism is still a thing. it’s any dating site. Gay Asian females are replied to the most.

  5. A new hashtag aimed at drawing attention to racism in the gay community is causing controversy online.

  6. When it comes to dating the word “preferences” is often used to mask discrimination and sadly, this kind of dating racism isn’t just for straight people!

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