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The instant it hits my lungs, and I’m out of breath jumping out of my chair…whoa, bad day, indeed. The urges come on strong particularly strong when the day has gone haywire or taken a dip for the worse. I acknowledged the fact that Valentine’s Day is coming. He was a huge Star Wars nut on top of everything else that attracted me to him.I could already suffer from that if all I did was eat all day and sit solely on my couch. By no means was I able to say I had an addiction to cigarettes. Lovey-dovey things will be happening every single day and absolutely everywhere there will displays of how to show someone how much you love them. New Guy digs Star Wars, but I don’t think I could argue with him the benefits of a one-sided lightsaber versus a double-sided.After a little while, I stopped caring if he knew about me smoking or not. On top of that, when you’re on birth control and smoking, your chances for blood clots and heart congestion go through the roof.Considering I’ve been on the pill for a little bit now, it was another reason to say STOP.

There is one benefit to being sick for 5 days in a row.

Hair matted to my neck, drool dried to the corner of my lips, one sock on and the other missing somewhere in the mess of my blankets, mascara smeared from one eye to the other, and a sweaty body.

Every time I smell real food, my stomach rolls and I end up near a bathroom in case I lose whatever I was able to hold down earlier that day. The girl who walked out of the bar last night was nowhere to be seen this morning.

The only guy who can match them is the exact one I’m thinking of. Think he’ll come across this and know I called him a perfect guy? Regardless, I’m still holding out for that guy I’m searching for, who will meet all my high standards. I’m not going to date any loser who shows up at my side at the bar. I got nothing but a bottle of Jack to keep me company.

Maybe I’ll buy myself a thing of Darth Vader chocolates, eat them myself, along with a bottle of champagne I’ll be drinking with a curly straw. Stay tuned for pictures on the most epic day of the year. Two days after the day of love, I’m getting chunks of my cervix surgically removed and a small chance that what’s causing this ickiness could come back, and my chances of having kids, drops dramatically. I can probably safely bet I won’t get anything from New Guy.

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